We’re reaching almost half the month since we got admitted for different work up procedures to have a proper diagnosis with what’s happening to Caitie. We’re reaching our 6th week from the time she started her medication and more than 3 months since her first batch of lesions appeared.
Its been taking awhile to get a final diagnosis and as a mother, I have mixed emotions of immediately wanting to find our what is indeed wrong because I see my daughter in so much pain yet at the same time willing to have results be delayed as long as it is indeed accurate.
In a different perspective, I wanted to understand why God is allowing this delay. What did He want me to learn? Usually diagnosis is fast with all lab results but ours is taking a long toll. We’re happy that the last lab results showed good signs, BMA (bone marrow aspiration) were negative, chrohns disease panel were also negative. Yet the last of all the tests supposedly – the deep tissue biopsy results showed that it was inconclusive. That an immunostains blood smear is necessary to rule out lymphoma.
I don’t know what moved me yesterday to share to Caitie that Jesus loves her and wants to help her not just physically but most especially her heart and her soul. That this sickness and pain she is experiencing is what sin does. It separates us from experiencing an abundant and complete life with Jesus. I didn’t want Caitie to just believe that Jesus is healing her from physical pain. I needed her to understand that she needed healing from something more important. That Jesus is the greatest healer who can free us from the pain of being separated with Him eternally because of sin.
Jesus didn’t want to be known as just a great healer. He wanted people to learn that healing someone from sickness, deadly disease was just a picture of healing someone from sin. I realized that it is why there are a lot of sickness and diseases coming around the world. God uses sickness to demonstrate how serious sin is. How it separates us from Him. Jesus loves us and wants to help us and be with us that He came to be the Savior. That one day, just like He heals all physical wounds, He will change everything and make it the way that God wants it to be again. In order to show us that he can and will do that, Jesus heals people who are sick. He shows that He really cares about what happens to us and that He has the power to make things right.
Jesus wants us to understand something very important. He is not just someone who can save people from sickness. What He really wants to do is to save us from our sinfulness.
Im thankful that God allowed this pain to happen in our lives and with Caitie because it’s the perfect example for her to understand what sin is like. And that Jesus wants to heal not just her physical body but that He wants to heal her from something far worse – sin.
I realized that the miracles Jesus made during His time was the healing of sick people. A woman “believed” that if she touches Jesus’ cloak, she would be healed and right after her confident faith, she was immediately healed. A father “believed” that Jesus would heal her dying daughter, despite arriving what seemed to be too late because she has died was not the case because Jesus brought her back to life. A group of friends “believed” that if they bring their paralyzed friend to Jesus, that He would heal him so they made every effort to carry him on top of the roof and bring him down to Jesus.
It wasn’t the paralyzed man’s faith that impressed Jesus but it was the faith of his friends. Jesus responded to their faith and healed the man.
What great faith these people had. And the root of it all was that they “believed” that Jesus would heal them of their sickness. Not the act of touching his cloak, not the act of walking miles to meet Him, not the act of doing everything they can to bring their friend closer. What healed the woman, the girl and the friend was that the woman, the father and the friends “believed” that Jesus can.
Ive always loved metaphors and I only realized now that Jesus did a lot of miraculous healing not to show off His powers but that it was a representation that we need Him to heal us from the worst kind of sickness – being separated forever from Him and to feel pain forever in hell.
Just like being healed from something far worse than sickness – sin. We simply have to “believe” that only Jesus is our savior. Just like in the story of Abraham and Isaac, instead of Isaac dying as a sacrifice, there was a ram. This ram took Isaac’s place. The ram was sacrificed and died instead of Isaac. In the same manner as ours, Jesus took our place. He sacrificed Himself to die on our behalf.
Because He took being separated with us eternally seriously. He didn’t want that to happen so He died on our behalf to save us from a seriously more deadly disease – sin and pain in hell forever.
Just like Abraham, Isaac and the people who were healed, we simply have to believe and accept Him in our hearts and live a life that He is not just our Savior but our Master.
It has always been my prayer that since Caitie is in so much pain, that Jesus would not let her pain go in vain. That He would use it to bring complete glory to His name. And so I realized that as people continue to follow her life story at the young age of 3, It is my prayer now that the people would take Jesus seriously. That being separated from Jesus is more serious that Cancer and any deadly disease. That they will come down on their knees, ask for forgiveness and accept Jesus in their hearts. Accept the healing from the worse sickness ever. That the only way to be free from sin is Jesus.
And just like the woman, the father and the friends, may we not stop talking about what Jesus has done and live a life choosing Him as our Master each and every single moment of each day.