We often hear “being intentional” is the key to parenting but most are wondering what it means. Intentional is going out of your way to build up a person. So here, I am sharing my notes and learning from the #IDC2018 conference with Josh McDowell as the speaker. Hope this is also help you as we practice this at home and at work.
When someone is sad, share their emotion and acknowledge. That shows authenticity! You don’t have to fix it, they just want you to understand thus leading to building a bridge.
“You don’t have to fix it and suck it up and use a blame game” love the scripture and build a bridge.
“When someone is happy, you don’t bleed, you hemmoriage and be all out happy! Don’t wait or schedule it”
Build a bridge and not a barrier and affirm her emotions
When you quote scripture instead of living it, that’s a sin
Don’t you know God said” - it’s all good but there’s a time for it
We give them a sense of security
I don’t want to acknowledge my son’s success as much as I acknowledge his effort. - unconditional acceptance
Recognise the effort rather than the success!
Effort vs success
“Thank you for putting your clothes in the hamper, your mother will appreciate it.”
“I’m so thankful you’re a good student, but I don’t love and accept you because you’re a good student, but I love you because you are my daughter. Your success or failure will not change my love for you.”
“The sweetest of all sounds is praise”
Practice catching your kids doing things right and recognise appreciation instead of catching your kids doing wrong and disciplining it.
“You did some a good job in starting to eat your food on your own! Could you do the second half?”
Availability means importance
“You are important to me and I want to make time”
“I am important to this company / to this family”
Don’t tell me you’re too busy, if I can do it you can do it because we have the same God.
It shows them a sense of Lovability
“I have never met a child in a world who have never sought for love.”
“I love you and I’m proud of you” - our kids need to hear this over and over again.
Do not be a home of dictatorship.
Approach their world
“Step in your child’s world! .... What is important to me is important to my dad. What’s I like is what mommy likes! - that’s relationship!!”
They are human beings too!
“True love asks questions before they ever degrade or acuse.”
It gives a child responsibility and self control
“If we truly love our child, we give them reasonable limits and boundaries and hold them accountable!”
“If you give rules in a loving relationship, it shows love. If you give rules without a relationship, it will lead to rebellion.”
Visit josh.org/joshtalks you can download the PowerPoint slides, use it all free! Just do not sell it :) these are here to help you.
PROCESS: think about which of the above you experienced or lacked growing up and what is the Spirit telling you to change or start doing in your relationships?